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My Why: What Keeps Me Going When Life Gets Dark

Life isn’t always sunshine and highlight reels.

Sometimes it’s late nights full of doubts, early mornings with no motivation, and quiet moments where your thoughts get louder than you’d like to admit.

If you know me — really know me — you know I wrestle with that. I get in my head. I carry weight that most people don’t see. And yes, sometimes things get dark.

But even on those days… I get up. I show up.
Not because I feel like it.
Not because it’s easy.
But because I have a why.

Actually, I have two.

1. I Want Everyone to Know Jesus

This is the foundation for everything I do.

I want people to know Jesus — not just as a name in a book, or a figure from Sunday school, but as a Savior… a Friend… a light in the darkness. I want people to experience the kind of love and peace that pulled me through the toughest seasons of my life.

When I was in the pit — mentally, emotionally, spiritually — Jesus was the only one who could reach that deep.

He didn’t just lift me out of the darkness.
He stepped into it with me.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” – John 1:5

That verse has been a lifeline for me. And it’s become my mission. In everything I do — whether I’m showing houses, talking with clients, or just living my day-to-day — I want people to encounter Jesus through me.

Because knowing Him changes everything.

2. I Want to Make My Family Proud

The second reason I keep pushing, even when I’m exhausted, is my family.

Brea, my wife.
Kase and Brayden, my two little boys.

These three have changed my life in ways I’ll never be able to explain. They are the reason I grind when no one’s watching. They are the ones I think about when I’m driving to another showing or pushing through another long day. They are the reason I care so deeply about the legacy I’m building.

I want my wife to know that I gave it everything I had.
I want my sons to grow up knowing what it means to work hard, love well, and trust God — even when it’s hard.

This isn’t just about providing for them financially.
It’s about becoming the kind of man they can look up to.
It’s about honoring God in the way I live, love, lead, and serve.

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I Can’t Lay My Head Down Until I Know I Gave It My All

Every day, I wake up with these two purposes burning in my heart. And every night, I can’t rest unless I know I poured everything I had into that day.

Yes, I get tired.
Yes, I struggle sometimes.
But I’m not doing this alone.

God gives me the strength.
My family gives me the reason.
And together, that keeps me moving forward.

One day, when this life is over, I want to stand before Jesus and hear:
“Well done, good and faithful servant.” (Matthew 25:21)

Until then… I’ll keep showing up. I’ll keep loving people. I’ll keep building this life with purpose and passion.

Even on the dark days.
Because I have a why.
And they’re worth everything.

Finding Your Why

If you’ve made it this far, maybe you’re in a place where you’re searching for your own why.

Maybe life feels heavy for you too.
Maybe the routine feels meaningless.
Or maybe you’re crushing it on the outside but feel lost on the inside.

Here’s what I’ve learned:
You don’t need all the answers to start living with purpose.
You just need something — or someone — worth getting up for.

For me, it’s Jesus, Brea, Kase, and Brayden.
They are the reason I refuse to give up. The reason I stay in the fight. The reason I lead with faith instead of fear.

“Where there is no vision, the people perish…” – Proverbs 29:18

Your why might look different — and that’s okay.
Maybe it’s your kids. Maybe it’s a dream that won’t let you go. Maybe it’s the calling God placed on your heart that’s been buried by doubt or delay.

But I promise you — when you find your why, everything changes.
Work becomes worship.
Struggles become stories.
And the dark days don’t win anymore.

So if you’re feeling lost, start there.
Ask yourself: What legacy do I want to leave? Who am I doing this for? What would it look like to give it everything I’ve got — starting today?

Find your why.
And let it light up the path ahead.

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About the Author

Malcolm Wallaker is a real estate agent with EXP Realty, serving Grand Rapids, Brainerd, Duluth, and the surrounding areas of Northern Minnesota. As a Christian realtor, Malcolm brings a personal, purpose-driven approach to real estate. Whether you’re buying your first home, selling your family cabin, or looking to make a move, Malcolm is here to guide you with integrity, care, and unmatched support.

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To learn more about my real estate story, Click Here

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